The Bank of Mom and Dad -- When Helping Hurts
Are you helping your adult child… or accidentally holding them back? Many parents quietly support their adult children financially — paying rent, helping with debt, or covering emergencies. But when does helping become enabling? In this episode, Denise talks with financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz about the emotional and psychological forces behind the “Bank of Mom and Dad.” Dr. Brad tells it like it is and doesn't hold back. He's says the right things - but sometimes they are hard ...
Are you helping your adult child… or accidentally holding them back?
Many parents quietly support their adult children financially — paying rent, helping with debt, or covering emergencies. But when does helping become enabling?
In this episode, Denise talks with financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz about the emotional and psychological forces behind the “Bank of Mom and Dad.”
Dr. Brad tells it like it is and doesn't hold back. He's says the right things - but sometimes they are hard to hear. You decide.
Together they explore why financial dependence happens, how parents unintentionally reinforce it, and what it takes to change the pattern.
This is a tough conversation — but an important one for any parent wondering if their financial support is truly helping their child thrive.
In this episode we discuss:
- What a financial psychologist actually does
- Why money is the #1 stressor for most Americans
- The emotional drivers behind parents financially supporting adult children
- The difference between helping and enabling
- The psychology of financial dependence
- Why adult children sometimes resent the parents supporting them
- How guilt, divorce, and childhood experiences shape financial decisions
- What parents can do when an adult child refuses to become independent
- The psychological concept of an “extinction burst”
- How to create boundaries around financial help
- What to do when grandchildren complicate the situation
- Whether helping with a house down payment is a good idea
- How money can impact sibling relationships and inheritance
If you have something to add or if you have a question you'd like us to answer:
📞 Call the Bite Your Tongue listener line: 719-347-1106
You can also email us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com.
We are on SUBSTACK now too - with "Behind the Mic." We talk about how the episode resonated with us and share some inside scoop that you won't want to miss.
Please follow us on social media now. It helps us so much.
Facebook Instagram
Huge thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.
The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.
